Whoa Nelly, that's Tart!

That's Right. Tart of the Week time. And since I haven't seen the sun in gloomy old Portland in say, a year, I decided to bake the sun. Something big and glowing and yellow. Yep, a Lemon Tart. Brings the sun right to your table. I was perusing some food blogs earlier in the week and came across a lemon tart recipe that looked incredibly simple and quite sunny. Instead of making lemon curd on a double boiler and pouring it into an already baked tart shell, you actually make a raw filling, pour it into a par-baked tart shell, and bake it all together. I had not tried it this way before and was intrigued. This recipe also seemed to have more butter than others, so I thought it was probably the one for me.

64 Sq Ft Kitchen

Now, I'm totally ripping off someone else's blog here. I've attached the link above. I used their recipe, followed their directions, and even took pictures. I hope they don't mind. They are still superior to me in every way.

One issue with baking the sun is that it can be really hard on pot holders, what with the melting 'n all, oh yeah, and I don't have a round tart pan. So, I have made a Rectangular Sun, I mean tart. Geez, I could really use a few rays to get my brain functioning properly.

So, for the recipe I put all my additions and comments in BLUE.

Lemon Tart

Recipe:

For the crust:

- 1 egg
- 2 oz sugar
- 9 oz – 1 tbsp flour (that's 9 oz minus 1T)
- 4 ½ oz butter, at room temperature diced

Peg recommends adding a dash of salt here for deliciousness.

For the crust, mix the eggs with the sugar. I used my mixer with a paddle attachment for this, but you could use a bowl and fork if your low-fi. Add flour and diced butter and mix until the dough comes together. Careful of that flour. Remember, your not supposed to inhale it. Roll into a ball. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 45 min. It's OK if the butter is still visible in some spots. It will make a flakier crust. If you mix it quite throughly, you will have made a cookie. That's what I did. Made a tasty buttery cookie. Yum. I did not add salt, but I used salted butter so I thought I would be ok. I was only slightly wrong. If you need to leave the dough in the fridge for longer, no worries. Just get to in within 2 days or the egg will turn it green. It's still edible, but weird looking.

Butter a 10 inch (in diameter) tart pan with removable bottom. Or a rectangular tart pan and some little tart shells, Or a couple of pie tins or a nice skillet. Roll out the dough, (with flour underneath and on top) to about 2 inches larger than your pan, You can run your floured hand sexily over the dough to feel any thick parts to try to make an even dough. If you chilled the dough for longer than 45 minutes, it may be slightly difficult to roll, so first, bash it on the counter with the rolling pin like 5 times to get the cold butter to be more elastic. You do not want cracked dough. Crack kills. Keep it away from your tart dough.

Line the tart pan by using your rolling pin to assist in the transfer of the dough and prebake the crust partially at 400F for 15 min, or until the dough dries out (cover it with foil and put some kind of weight inside the foil, like rice, beans...ect). I find it strange that they assume everyone knows how to line a tart pan or how to weight it. By line, they mean lay the dough over the pan and carefully work the dough into the flutes and bends. Try to be even in the application so it cooks evenly. To weight this dough, put a big piece of foil over the raw crust and push it into the shape of the pan. Pour a pound or so of beans over the foil, spreading them out and making it even. You can use plastic wrap to do this, but I heard somewhere that an ion is lost in the heating of wrap and they don't know where it goes, so it may not be entirely food safe. We used plastic in culinary school. Go figure. I digress, try to keep the foil edges over the sides of the crust so you can easily remove the beans later. Picking out beans one at a time is a super huge pain. This also helps keep the sides from browning too soon.

Let this cool with out the beans in it for a while before you try to fill it. Reason: You need to be able to move your crusts easily (without an oven-mitt) to put them back in the hot oven.

Filling:
- 3 ½ oz butter at room temperature diced
- 7 oz sugar
- 1 orange (for zest only)
- 3 lemons (small to medium) zest 1
- 5 eggs

For the filling, mix the sugar with the butter, diced, the zest of one orange and 1 lemon until it looks smooth. Add the freshly squeezed juice of the three lemons, then the eggs lightly beaten. Mix until well incorporated, and then pour over the prebaked crust. I recommend pulling out your oven rack and setting the crust on it then pouring your filling into the crusts so you don't have to move them once they are filled. Just push the rack back in. Either way, becareful here, the mix is RUNNY. It also kinda started to look like cottage cheese. One of the problems is that this is a lot of liquid to be mixing with butter, so it just ends up being a lemon egg mixture with little pieces of butter floating in it. This worked out later when the butter floated to the top and caramelized to make a beautiful brown crust and it added to the dense texture of the tart. This is definitely not Lemon Jello pudding in a ritz pie crust. This is WAY WAY WAY more tastier.

Bake at 375F for 30-40 min. The top will be caramelized and bubbly but the filling will still be a little soft. Don’t worry; it will firm up once out of the oven.
Let it cool completely on a wire rack before refrigerating it. Unmold and serve cold, dusted with some icing sugar for a festive and pretty look.


Taste issues: This was way too tart. I used large lemons and don't recommend doing so. I also zested one too many lemons and used it all. Oops. I served the little slice of sunshine with an unsweetened hot tea and it sort of balanced out, but WOW is it zingy. Pucker Power or not, half of us went back for seconds and I even had it for breakfast this morning. I Love the Sun.

Green and White Dinner

OK, so I feel the need to defend myself here. I make regular food. Like with leftovers and simple ingredients and all that. I like to be fancy, but on a daily basis I just can't pull it off. I didn't even get out of my jammies until like 6 pm today. A bunch of my friends/readers have put some culinary pressure on me that I just can not handle. If you all wouldn't mind reading my profile again, you would notice that my first statement is this: "I suck." It's true. And anything I do over and above sucking is purely a triumph over sucking and I will celebrate it as such. Anyway, I thought you might enjoy my New Years Eve dinner because its fastish, cheapish, and you can walk away from it if you set a timer.

I made Rosemary Lemon Chicken with mashed potatoes, green beans, and a salad. And Yes, I made it up. No Cookbooks or Nuttin. Just looked in the freezer and made it up.

You'll need:
Frozen chicken breast pieces
Dried Rosemary
Salt
Pepper
Lemon juice squeezy
butter
water
Corn starch

OK, so in a skillet with a lid, put in chicken pieces with 1/2 cup water or a 2 swipes under a running faucet. Salt, pepper and Rosemary the chicken. 3 dashes or 2 pinches of each. Cover. Cook 10 minutes on Med. Flip chicken. Re-Pepper if you like peppery chicken. Add 2 T or a knob of butter and a long (2 second) squeeze of Lemon juice or like 1 T. Recover skillet and turn to low. Let it go until you can deal with it again, or 10 minutes.

When ever you are ready, uncover chicken and add like a cup and 1/2 of water or a 4 count under the faucet. We're making gravy now, so pay attention. Take 1 T of corn starch and add it to 1/2 c cold water in a bowl you can whisk it around in well. Get rid of lumps now or forever hold your peace. I use a fork to make my slurry. Corn Starch thickens when it boils, so it's important to do this in cold water. When you have your slurry lump free, add it to boiling chicken skillet. Have your whisk or fork ready and stir it all around. I pushed the chicken to one side and made my gravy in the other. After about a minute, you should have Chicken in a lemon, butter, and rosemary sauce. If it's not thick enough for you, boil it down, or if its too thick, add a splash of water. How ever your family likes it. Don't forget to taste it before you serve it. If its too lemony or peppery or salty, add more water and butter and starch. Find your balance and be happy with yourself.

Garlic Mash:
Potatoes
butter
milk
salt
pepper
garlic

Or Instant if that's what you have. I don't. I have potatoes cuz they are cheaper in the long run for me.

I made these last night while I was watching the news by cutting potatoes into chunks, boiling them in salt water for like 12 minutes, then draining. ie.3 inches water, 1 second pour of salt
While potatoes were draining, I took 2 cloves of garlic and smashed them with the side of my knife real good. Put that in the potato pot and add 3 T butter. Cook on low for a bit to make the butter fragrant. Add Potatoes back. Add 1/4 cup of milk or a big bloop and add 4 dashes salt and 4 dashes pepper. Whip and Stir with a fork for like 4 minutes on low heat. NOTE: This is not a health food cuz of the butter, but i do leave the skins on so they are a bit lumpy anyway.
I just reheated these for the dinner I made tonight.

Frozen French Green Beans (cuz jamie likes the long beans)
2 table spoons Water, or just turn on the faucet and swipe the pan under it real quick like.
1 T Butter/oil/fat of some kind (I used a bloop of walnut oil because it was on sale cheaper than Olive Oil and I used all my butter in the chicken.)
Salt 2 dashes
Pepper 3 grinds or dashes

Put it all in a skillet with a lid on really high. When it boils and steams a bunch, turn it off. Leave lid on till you eat 'em.

Romain lettuce cut with a knife for speed or out of a bag already cut.
Caesar Dressing, Any kind. You can use less if you get a big bowl for a little lettuce, bloop the dressing in, then mix with your hands. Less dressing = Last longer= CHEAP.

I'll put of a pic of the plated dinner as soon as Jamie gets home. Jamie says dinner was "Tasty".
Much Love and Happy New Year

Top ten reasons why I am NOT a hipster:

10. I do not MY SPACE
9. I Lost my chunky glasses
8. My Levi's are curvy boot.
7. I don't live in the hip part of town (even if I do live in the hip part of the country)
6. I don't even own a trucker hat
5. Have you ever seen me in aviator sun glasses?
4. I happen to look dreadful in anything American Apparel
3. Star tats? PuhLEAZE
2. My only ironic t-shit is the one I wear to the gym.

And the #1 reason I am not a Hipster:

PBR. BLECH!

In defense of Spices

Last night I was mad craving some dessert, however, since we only grocery shop once per month, sadly, we had not a morsel of sugary goodness in the house. Well, we did have someone's left over pumpkin pie from Christmas with the fam, but I don't really consider that dessert. Pumpkin Pie is really more like baby food for old folks. You know, because old folks like their baby food cut into pie charts.

Anyway, I tirelessly scoured Al Gore's internet to find the very bestest, ooooiest, gooooiest chocolate brownie recipe in the WORLD. And I think I did. It's fun, it's easy, it only takes like 10 minutes to prep, and WOW was it delicious. For those of you who know me best. You know I could not just leave this recipe in a state of mediocrity, but I must elevate it with the use of aromatic herbs and arousing spices. The Brits conquered half the world in search of spices. USE THEM people, USE THEM. The ones I used are marked with an *.
I must confess that I used a recipe in cups and tablespoons, and did not take the time to weigh each ingredient for accuracy. I apologize to my fellow Culinary alumi and to all those living outside the United States. We are an arrogant bunch, you'll just have to use our inaccurate system of measuring to make this one.

I should also note that I use organic ingredients whenever possible. I use Dairy products free of hormones and I purchase fair trade chocolate. I believe these things are important to the health and wellbeing of my body, my family, and my community. I hope you do too.

OK, so here's the recipe. I got it online and now can not find where. It is not mine. I take no credit for it. It came from some lady's grandma or something. I hope she can forgive me.

2 sticks butter (8 T or 8 oz or 226 g)
9 oz Dark Chocolate (I used a brick of 72% from Trader Joe's)

4 eggs beaten

2 cups sugar
1 T ground Cinnamon*
1 t ground Cayenne Pepper*
2 T Cocoa Powder (I used Dutched, but I don't think it matters in this case)*

1 cup All Purpose Flour
1 t vanilla extract
1 cup walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly butter a 9x9 cake pan or a 10" round.

Combine butter and chocolate in sauce pan or skillet on stove. Melt together on Low heat, stirring regularly. It should become a shiny, homogeneous chocolate soup. Remove from heat to cool a bit.

Combine spices and Cocoa with Sugar. Mix with hands to remove any lumps of cocoa. This helps the spices mix.

In mixer on low with a paddle attachment, or in a Fat bowl with a whisk, beat eggs. Add sugar/spice mixture a bit at at time so the spices don't end up all over your face.

Give the chocolate soup a stir to keep it together while it is cooling, and VERY SLOWLY add it to the batter. If you add the hot chocolate too fast, you will end up with chocolate scrambeled eggs. YUCK. So add slowly, like 1/2 cup at a time to combine with the mixer on Medium. This is why I chose to use my electric mixer. The one Jamie got me for my birthday. Anyway...

After all the chocolate is in the batter, switch the mixer (or your whisking arm) back to low and add the flour in 2 batches. Again, this is strictly to keep the ingredients in the bowl and not in your lungs. You wanna test fate, its up to you. Add the vanilla, then remove batter from mixer and stir in the nuts. Pour this beautifulness into that pan you prepped and jab it into the oven for 25 minutes at 350. Then, just for confusions sake, drop the temp to 325 and bake for another 10 minutes. The Brownies will be firm on the sides, but mostly set in the middle when it is done baking. DO NOT CUT THESE UNTIL COMPLETELY COOLED; unless you are looking more for a lava cake effect. Which can also be quite nice with some ice cream.

Jamie and I had them still warm and gooey. We had to eat them with a fork. YUM. I also had one for breakfast, and now I must go to the gym.

A fresh start

Well. I did it. I finally got a blog. I always said I wouldn't blog, but here I am... Blogging. I suck. No really. I do. I suck. Blogging! Seriously. I make fun of bloggers. It's a funny term. Blogging. It just sounds so, I don't know, geeky. What will people think. What if I blog the wrong thing about the wrong situation and the wrong idiot sees it and it turns out all wrong? What then, huh, What then.

OK.

I'm done.

So, for my fresh start, I have blog plans. Yep! Plans. Because this is organized. Not just a whim, but an endeavor with real, honest to goodness plans. I plan to publish a "Tart of the Week" complete with recipe's, pictures, methods, and the like. I also plan to publish a "Hike of the Month". Sounds pretty self explanatory to me. I would really like to also have plans for gym/diet posts, and book clubs, and camping sites, and great Portland bars, and a restaurant tour, and a travel log, and ... well you get the point. But I will begin with only 2. I may add the "Quote of the Day" fairly quickly, but I need to be working more to fill in that particular slot.

Here's a taste of "Quote"

"If you turn and see nothing, you're facing East." -V

No animals have been injured in the making of this blog. All names have been changed for the safety and security those involved. You will probably end up with a stupid nickname and I will accept no liability for your opinion of said nickname. It's my blog. Deal with it.